by Douglas Dillard
Are you in a relationship with someone who has a sex addiction? If you are reading this, chances are that you have a suspicion that this type of addiction is playing a role in your relationship. Surprisingly, you are not alone. Yet, you probably feel as if you are. That is a common misconception when it comes to victims of a partner who has a sexual addiction. While sexual addiction is more or less a taboo subject, more individuals suffer from the effects of this type of relationship than you know. You are not alone. Here is some information regarding this type of addiction so that you may have a better understanding of it.
What is Sexual Addiction?
Sexual addiction encompasses many different thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. Individuals who suffer from this type of condition often have relatively unusually high levels of interest in sex, various acts of sex, and beliefs on how one should perform while engaging in sexual acts. Their libido is exceptionally high, and their obsession with sex, sexual acts, and sexual pleasure is normally exceptionally high. This may have always been present with the individual, or it may simply come up out of nowhere. In many cases, the individual will appear to have a low sex drive and not exhibit any signs and then, suddenly, may seem to jump from that extreme to this extreme.
There are many common behaviors that may become evident in the individual who experiences sex addiction. If you are the “partner” in the relationship, these behaviors may lead to anxiety, depression, devastation, and similar emotions and states of the mind. This is especially true if you are “forced” in one way or another to indulge in the acts that stem from the behaviors that your partner has. These behaviors include:
• You may find that your partner has a higher desire to indulge in self-stimulation than that which is considered to be within the “norm”. In many cases, this is accompanied by observing pornographic materials such as DVDs, magazines, websites, and other means of visual enticement.
• Many that develop an addiction to sex will likely pursue physical affairs outside of the relationship that they are part of.
• Many may persist in having sexual intercourse in which “friends” are involved. This could be as simple as just one other person or as severe as several people at once.
• Many with the addiction may encourage their partners to engage in sexual acts with another person so that they may watch from a distance.
• If a partner is hesitant about becoming involved with the acts in which the addict wants performed, the addict by try to manipulate through the means of “sweet talking”, stating that they are in the leadership role of the relationship, or becoming physically abusive. In a number of cases, if a physical fight is initiated so that the partner may protect themselves, they may be forced into the act.
• Sexual crimes may be committed by the individual with this type of addiction.
If you are in a relationship with a sex addict, you may try talking the issues over and trying to resolve them. However, this depends largely on the severity of the addiction and the ways in which you have suffered. For example, if you are consistently forced to engage in the fantasies that your partner has, or are subjected to violence in any way, you should seek help and bypass talking things out. However, if the sexual addict has simply started vocalizing their desires, talking may be appropriate. Are you in a relationship with someone that has a sexual addiction? If so, there is hope. There is a way out. It is simply up to you to find it….
Addictions are most commonly associated with drug and alcohol addiction, however the truth is millions of people suffer from all kinds of addictions.
Some of these addictions are related to some form of chemical dependency such as alcohol, controlled substances and even prescription medicines. Other addictions are related to compulsive types of behavior such as gambling, shopping, food disorders an even the Internet.
One of the most important things to recognize about any type of addiction, regardless of whether it is a chemical addiction or a behavioral addiction; is that it is not a matter of choice. Individuals who are addicts do not have the ability to simply decide to stop abusing their ‘drug’ of choice. Addictions affect not only the user, but also their family and friends as well.
So what is an addiction?
How does it begin and when does a pattern of behavior become an addiction? Some individuals seem to have the ability to use a substance or engage in a behavior periodically over a period of years without becoming ‘hooked.’ Others; however are not capable of stopping and become addicted.
Addictions affect all social and educational groups. There is no typical addict.
The causes of addiction have been studied for several years. In many ways, addiction is caused by the emotion the substance or behavior brings about in the user. The body and mind become dependent on that feeling and seeks to maintain it.
There are addiction risk factors that make some people more likely than others to become addicts. Studies show that sometimes addictions can be hereditary. The child of an alcoholic may not grow up to be an alcoholic, however, they may become addicted to gambling or some other type of compulsive behavior as an adult.
Besides hereditary, individuals who grow up in families with abuse, neglect and who are impoverished are more likely to become addicts.
For most addicts, it can be extremely difficult to recognize that what they have associated as simply a habit is actually an addiction. While every individual is different there are some symptoms that are prevalent among most addicts and addictions:
Symptom # 1
Unable to meet responsibilities at home, school or office.
Symptom # 2
Continues to use substances or engage in behavior even when it is dangerous.
Symptom # 3
The need increases to engage in behavior or use more of a substance to achieve the same effect or feeling.
Symptom # 4
Has tried but failed to stop using the substance or end the behavior.
Symptom # 5
Continues to engage in the behavior or use the substances even when they are aware of the dangers.
Answering yes to three or more of the above symptoms during a 12 month period may show that you or a loved one has an addiction. The first step to treating an addiction is recognizing that it exists.
There is no cure for an addiction. Treatment and counseling can help an addict to learn how to control their behavior, withstand impulses and recognize the presence of a problem, but an addict is never cured. Treating an addiction can take years and requires ongoing support from friends, families and support groups.
A 12 step program can be particularly beneficial in treating an addiction. One of the most well known 12 step programs is AA, also known as Alcoholics Anonymous; however there are similar programs for all types of addictions.
Living with an addiction requires a daily commitment and there is always the possibility of relapsing. An addict that has been “clean” for even 20 years can succumb to temptation just as they did decades before.
There are several treatment programs and centers that can help with the numerous types of addictions that are prevalent today. Many of them are anonymous. Support groups are also available to help family and friends who experience the effects of an addiction in a loved one.
The information contained in this article is for educational purposes only and is not intended to medically diagnose, treat or cure any disease. Always consult a health care practitioner before beginning any health care program.
I can hardly believe the world we live in today. There are just so many problems, addictions, crime, and heartache. When does it ever end? Actually most of this stuff has been around forever. Oh, except for some of the odd addictions. As I’m sure you’re aware, there are many more drugs on the streets these days. You can acquire a fix from heroine, to crystal meth, to crack, to weed, to cocaine, to PCP, to over-the-counter products. Yep, that’s right; stuff from the drug store down the street is even a problem. Apparently a number of individuals are afflicted by a nasal spray addiction. Hey, you’re laughing, aren’t you? Well that’s okay. I think I busted out laughing the first time I heard this as well. What is the world coming to?
A lot of people have suffered from random and peculiar addictions. I can’t say that I’m one of them. Oh, unless coffee counts. I typically drink around two cups a day. That may be a bit too much. But, let’s talk about the pandemic with the nasal spray addiction. I can still recall back in high school when kids were chugging cough syrup to get drunk. I guess this craze is gone and done with. On to the more contemporary nasal spray addiction. I watched a stand-up performance by Dennis Leary, and he said “whip-its” were the rage when he was a teen. Apparently kids would purchase oodles of whip cream in cans, and then proceed to suck the gas out of them. Is this stupid or what? Then again, it’s no lamer than downing cough syrup for a buzz or acquiring a nasal spray addiction. They all sound pretty lame to me. The question is; how do people end up here? Do they start a common nasal spray for allergies and then it develops into something bad? My mother always told me this happened to many of her patients who took sleeping pills. They actually got to the point where they could not go to sleep without them. Yikes, would that ever be a bummer!
The whole addiction craze has to end if you ask me. Everyone, stop being addicted to things! They just keep becoming more and more absurd. I think you would have gotten beat up back in the 50s if you said you had a nasal spray addiction. It’s just weird and annoying. What’s next? An addiction to deodorant spray?
by Katherine Westphal
Based on how engrained the television is in our society, one might think that it had been around for centuries. With the ubiquitous presence of TV’s in houses, schools, banks, cars, cell phones, and more, people wonder how they ever survived without their daily dose of Oprah and Monday Night Football.
Yet, television was not officially introduced to the world until in 1939 at the World’s Fair. At that time, many people did not think that families would have enough time or patience to sit down for long periods in front of a flickering screen. “The average American family hasn’t time for it,” said one commentator.
TV ownership explodes
World War II stalled the development of television. After the war though, TV sales took off faster than you could say “Hi Ho Silver, Away!” By 1950, about 9% of American homes had a television set. By 1953, half of all households had a TV. By 1962, 90% of all households had a set . Today 98% of American households have at least one TV set and 76% of families have more than one set.
Initially, only two networks distributed television programming for approximately 3½ hours per day . Today there are hundreds of channels providing entertainment twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. As a result, people are glued to their screens for an average of 4½ hours per day. This is more than half of people’s leisure time. Many people cannot even imagine life without TV. This phenomenal transformation occurred within only three generations.
Trend for TV viewing still rising
Now television technology is exploding in other manners. No longer confined to the home, TV’s are popping up everywhere in public and private life: in schools, banks, stores, public transportation, cars, cell phones. It is now possible to turn your computer into a virtual television set and download programs from the internet.
The trend for TV viewing is rising higher as well, propelled by new technology. For example, a recent study showed that people who had digital video recorders (DVRs), like TiVo, watched 12% more TV than those who did not have DVRs. The growth of “on demand” programming will also likely increase viewing time for the average family.
Many people see TV as a necessary part of life. For example, when I announced to my mother that I was getting rid of our TV, she responded, “What am I going to do when I come to visit?” She, like most people, still cannot imagine living without TV.
“No Couch Potato Left Behind”
In November 2005, there was a huge debate in the US about cutting food stamp benefits. At the time this debate was proceeding, Congress was also considering a law that would help the poor transition to HDTV. Congress was concerned that millions of poor families might not be able to watch TV after the networks switched from analog to digital TV. Unlike food stamps, this entitlement received bi-partisan support.
Columnist George Will aptly named it the “No Couch Potato Left Behind” entitlement. President Bush signed the “No Couch Potato Left Behind” bill into law in February 2006. The final version earmarked $1.5 billion to pay for converter boxes for older television sets. Society is a long way from “the average American family hasn’t time for it”.
It is time to ask, “What is the cost of this transformation?”
About ‘The Awful Truth About Television’ Series: What happens when the average American spends 4 hours 32 minutes every day watching television? Trash Your TV’s ‘The Awful Truth About Television’ Series explores the multifaceted problems with TV in eleven hard-hitting articles. Read the full series and you will never look at your television set the same way again.